Friday, January 1, 2010

2010...New beginnings...dare to dream again.

Goodbye, 2009.
Thank you...now be gone.

Suffice it to say I am eager to look ahead and forget what lies behind.
The year was one of extremes, not the quite babbling brook type- more like a rapids ride with quiet spells. The highlights that naturally come to mind are the birth of Magpie...A little shop of reclaimed, revived treasures from days gone by, a dream I'd had in my heart for years and quite by accident was allowed to pursue.
Watching the very last trace of "little girl" wisp a way from my daughter to be replaced by young lady.
There was the death of our Durango... my first car accident and a weird blessing. We could no longer afford it but could not find a way out of it...I would love to claim extreme financing capablilities but really it was just a terribly dramatic wreck that left my daughter and I cold and scared but fully aware of Gods protection in our lives. (I did kill a hydrant, though.)
There was also the sweet surrender of my 16 year old cat COCO. He was loyal well behaved and sweet. We mercifully released him from breaths ceaseless tides after realizing how noble he was in his suffering. A loss but necessary.
There was a "derby party" I fondly remember and then a blur from May to October, only punctuated by Paris Street Market and frenzied creating, painting, hunting and borrowing a vehichle form everyone I knew to haul a junkstore treasure to and fro.
A year marked by material lack ... we have been sustained by grace and incredible generosity of others... more to come in future posts on that.
I recall "amusing" conversations to be sure betweeen my husband and I and our need to negotiate one car, two very strong wills. A season of stretching and remembering how to share.
Being convicted to the core at the need to honor my husband and and give thanks for who God made him not what he does, or can provide, just to learn to delight in him. My friend and Partner.
The women I have met through my venture with Magpie are the rich reward I will have loads to say about this as well. I am humbled to be surrounded by such wisdom, grace, humor and talent. I had no idea how awesome so many women could be.
I faced the very reality of death with the passing of my precious aunt ...only 4 years older than me... her untimely death leaving her 8 year old son, young daughter and devoted husband speechless and bruised. Sometimes we don't get the why questioned answered.
I watched with trepidation as my youngest daughter entered the halls of middle school, pinching myself that it was not happening... Actually understanding baby withdrawals.
I met my "grandson" for the first time too... my eldest stepdaughters precious wee one. I raised her and could not be prouder of her mothers heart.
I delighted in my nephews who are 2 and 1... I have a great sense of protection and devotion to both of them, their father is my "baby" brother and I used to ask my mother if I could "keep him, " I meant it.
There were chapters closed... I'll leave it at that, and new ones opened... with traces of things to come.
My prayers and desires for the coming year is to walk in acceptance - peace and assurance.
To be gracious of speech and generous of spirit. To quit comparing my self in everyway to anyone or anything for good. A very subtle habit with insidious results.
I pray for a change in our material circumstance and invite you to join me if so inclined and I ask for patience as we walk through this desert season.
I desire to delve the depths of creativity without fear of failure or even mediocrity...
To mother my girl in such a way that she is a force for love and goodness.
To take it all in with my eyes wide open, and heart exposed.
I am hoping this change in the calender is also a change in season one of quiet simplicity and much gratitude.
Happy 2010.

4 comments:

  1. Well I certainly hope that 2010 is better than last year for you. It wasn't the best year for me either, but I learned alot about life, relationships, and loss. We WILL have a better year this year! It's a brand new decade! See ya at The Barn!!!

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  2. I love you and I am proud of you. You're awesome and beautiful.

    Your husband!

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  3. I love you too!!! you are super cool and talented. Thanks for mentioning that means alot to me. Sabur and I love you!!!!!

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