Forty Things...

Like I said.. I was going to let my light shine...ain't she sparkly?

Seriously... I thought about sharing forty things. No particular order of importance, no theme just forty tidbits, quotes, likes, dislikes, fun facts, things I am grateful for that are randomly rolling round in my head and deserving a landing spot.

1. I love being Sophie's Mom. Bar none~ favorite thing about my life.
2. I can/ do curse like a sailor. Sorry sailors.
3.I never thought I would move back to Colorado (after 18 years) and I thank God EVERYDAY that we did.
4. I hate running. ALOT.
5. I am a weirdo dog person. I love him and baby him. It's borderline crazy.
6. C.S. Lewis is my favorite philosopher, writer, public figure of the modern age.
7.Not a huge fan of sweets...really.
8. I have NO tattoos.
9. I laugh the hardest with my husband: he has a ridiculously dry ( sometimes cheesy) sense of humor.
10. I am sarcastic. Sometimes it's useful for cutting tension, lightening up people at work other times it's wicked...I hope~think I've learned to channel it as I've aged.


11. I have anxiety attacks in the wind. I. HATE. WIND.
12. I am still very flexible and can rock yoga ~ when I do it.
13. I am becoming aware of some regrets ~ learning to accept them is painful but necessary.
14. I LOVE Learning new things... I am insatiable.
15. Omaha is an AWESOME city. Highly underestimated.
16. I am thankful for all lady friends, Omaha girls I am rich rich rich in you. Colorado girls... My cup is now running over...blog friends and yes I consider you heart friends... Who knew you could grow so fond so far away?
17. I love Piccolos Steak House in Omaha. YUM.
18. The one outgrowth of my walk with the Lord is an unnatural/ supernatural love for people around me... trust me it is not me...I'm like Karen on Will and Grace, but through HIS lens I see the eternal person it is profoundly humbling.
19. The freedom we have to worship, disagree, be complacent if we choose...SHOW OUR HAIR AND FACE...ladies... is the number one most cherished possession in my life.
20. If I got a tattoo it would be the address of my fave verse I never don't get chills.
ISAIAH 61:1~ The Spirit of the Living God is upon me... he has sent me to heal the sick, feed the poor BIND UP THE BROKEN HEARTED AND SET THE PRISONERS FREE!" I get really excited about healing broken hearts and telling people they are free.

21. In 19 74 my dad and I traveled across the western United States~ to Northern California~ in a van named "CLOUD." Indeed we did. ( No he is not Cheech or Chong, but close.) My dad is a great teacher.
22. The older I am the more I realize why we were young and idealistic, and now we must be measured and thoughtful. Interesting change in perspective, subtle too.
23. Until last week I had 35 pairs of shoes. I wear the same 3 or 4 90% of the time.
24. I am certain that I have some form of OCD. It keeps me from permanently losing myself in some creative tornado.
25. "A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word, 'darkness' on the walls of his cell." CS LEWIS ~ fave quote ever.
26.Confession... It hurts when people "come on strong" and go lukewarm with no explanation. Really bugs me.
27. My stepdaughter~ Kristen~ is one of my favorite people I have ever spent time with. She makes me laugh without trying. ALOT.
28. Realization...When you love people it's not a question of if but when they will break your heart, But you gotta do it.
29. I am the worlds proudest aunt. My nephews and niece are AWESOME.
30. I had big Bon Jovi Blond hair in the eighties... aqua net, Marlboro lights..It is a miracle I did not blow myself up.
31. SUSHI~ I could eat tuna rolls everyday of my life.
32. My first real date with my hubby was "Phantom of the Opera" in NEW YORK.
33.My all time favorite memory of my step daughter Faith is ..." Sorry to tell you this BUT I am allergic to Olives." You had to be there.
34. I want to grow old with a sense of humor like my 95 year old Grandma "GG".
She is funny stuff ~still.
35. It is easy for me to love people from a safe distance, boundaries are a good, good thing.
36. I literally can tell you what it is like to lose EVERYTHING. I mean it~ all material possession gone. YOU are most definitely NOT what you have. You can survive.
37.I am eternally grateful to my mom and Denny. I love you both to a million pieces.
38. As I age it is easier for me to forgive and move on more than ever before...I think it's a matter of not taking myself too seriously. Been there~ done that.
39. I lost four people in the last year. Life is fragile.
40. I am so very thankful for it all.

WORD TO MY SISTAS.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?'
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God ~that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

~ via Nelson Mandela in his 1994 inaugural speech

Here is the deal. ~In 2 days I will be... ( gasp) 40.
Yes I will.

So with that being said... I am wanting to share the lessons that I have earned, some very costly.
The quote above is not just a "sweep: feel good" statement. It is a drum march of my walk.
I experienced a lot of cruelty in school, I moved a lot and was the " new girl"... I was a target for pettiness and jealousy all through high school. Well, as we have all learned women don't stop being ridiculous when they graduate. They grow teeth.

Years ago I gave up being frustrated with the lack of really confident women who could be friends with depth and character. Ironically, when I quit being disappointed...in the lack of dynamic women, I started intersecting more and more frequently with powerhouses.

I was equipped to appreciate and celebrate these women and their strengths, talents, abilities...I was in a place where I could accept/ delight in the endless creativity of God in his knitting together women who were frankly in each of their own rights amazing.
I did not struggle with comparison or jealousy... I really was enamored with the qualities of the gals I had the privilege to share time with.
One thing~ though~ that has risen to the surface the subtle doubt I still held about myself.
I have never embraced the possibility that I may be holding back. While I know I can whole~ heartedly appreciate and admire another ... I don't unfold because of fear.
Yes it's true.
OF WHAT? doesn't matter... fear is never a good motivation. It is the opposite of FREEDOM.

found image.

(Psalm 119:45 I will walk about in freedom, for I have sought out your precepts.)

So, now that I am aware of this temptation to operate at less than my full potential, I am going to be intentional about guarding my heart. Yes 40 is going to be the mile marker of "FEEL THE FEAR AND DO IT ANYWAY."~ in other words courage.

I still find friendships elusive, sometimes tricky...but I am willing to be brave.

Let's face it, I am a mother to a dynamic daughter... I have sisters and a powerful sister in law... and a new niece... it is imperative that I don't hide my light under a basket...

I will still feel doubt, anxiety ...and sometimes people WILL BE MEAN. But I am not willing to have any unnecessary regrets. Part of growing wiser is valuing the power of BEING INTENTIONAL. My favorite pastor used to say..."humility is not thinking too highly of yourself OR too lowly...it is agreeing with God about your worth." AMEN.

" This little light of mine... I am going to let it shine...let it shine... let it shine."





1 Chronicles 29:11Yours, O Lord, is the greatness, the power, the glory, the victory, and the majesty. Everything in the heavens and on earth is yours, O Lord, and this is your kingdom. We adore you as the one who is over all things.

Fruits of our labor.

I have been on a Home Detox. Three moves in three years and going form 6,000 sf to 1,100 sf
wreaks havoc on your organizational mojo.

SO I dedicated a 3 full days to pitching, throwing, donating and today I am going to rest.



A view of my desktop... I have not seen that in months.

All the activity has tuckered out my friends.

More pics tomorrow!

Some days are just like that! LET IT GO.

(Taken near my moms at Red Rocks Country Club. Poor dude.)



I'm AWARE of my very hit and miss blogging. I miss you all so much.



However, first things must remain first and it is the busiest season after all!



Now, the topic that has been front and center for me EVEN during this busy season is...

CLARITY.

simplify. streamline. let go.purge.

DETOX.

NOW~ as a collector and purveyor of "fine found objects" this is counter intuitive...

BUT oh so necessary.

It is also the underlying philosophy of my craft... I really find beauty in every day~ functional ~useful items...hence my tag line "utility chic."

I really shy away from " sit abouts" that are just pretty. Oh, I'm drawn to the allure of charming "tchotchkes" but I just can't bring myself to fill my home or even my shop with too many items that don't also add function.

I firmly believe that clutter, excess~ creates a drag on our well being.

Quite literally static in our thinking.

In the health industry right now everyone is aware of the benefits of "cleansing". Our digestive system can more effectively bank and store nutrients when it is not drug down by "sludge." Then it is free to FUNCTION with vitality. Same MUST be true of our soul.

Well truths are truths... and I believe this is true emotionally and creatively. When you get bogged down by your things, clothes, shoes, belongings, goals ...even good ones...you are not clear to enjoy, create , think.

Ironically, the more you have... things, success, goals, the more time you have to take care of maintaining your deteriorating goods... or incomplete relationships...and the slavery begins.

On a post in the not too distant future I will detail my journey of this realization... suffice to say I'm a former possessor of MUCH.

But today, I am very literally LETTING GO. It is a nesting day... I am starting practically with drawers, closets, nooks and crannies. If it is not immediately useful it is GONE. ( Unless it is REALLY REALLY beautiful. wink.)


EXHALE.

There is freedom in trusting that I will have what I need when I need it. And if I don't ,I will have the grace to accept that too.

What I will have is the emotional resources to commit my fullness to my loved ones,to create unhindered, to have my words and actions line up...and to have peace while I'm coming and going. I will not be guilty of over- promising and under- delivering...and that will be my success!



Next post... pics of the new home style I'm calling " monastic chic." hee.hee.